Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer, we're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians, tight-rope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation, we make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation for we are incurably given to rove

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"

Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
Was it Mungojerrie?
Or Rumpelteazer?"
And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie?
Or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?

And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming

Then the family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie
And Rumpelteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!