You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees
The origional Conjuring Cat
There can be no doubt about that
Please, listen to me, and don't scoff
All his inventions are off his own bat
There's no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions

The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffelees's Conjuring Turn

And we all say
Oh! Well I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever
As Magical Mister Mistoffelees!

He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail;
He can creep thru' the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He's always decieving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste;
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think that it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment
And then, it is gawn!
But you'll find it next week
Lying out on the lawn

And we all say:
Oh! Well I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever
As Magical Mister Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer,
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestible proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all said
Oh! Well I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever
As Magical Mister Mistoffelees

And we all say
Oh! Well I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever
As Magical Mister Mistoffelees

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the marvellous, Magical Mister Mistoffelees!